If you live alone, it’s completely
understandable if you’re finding being on your own tough right now. Loneliness
can be a difficult emotion to sit with, especially during the long winter
months. And during a pandemic when we naturally want to seek comfort from
others, it can be even harder to deal with this feeling.
Here, we share tips and advice on how to cope with
a winter lockdown, and stories from other people living alone during a pandemic
lockdown.
If you’re having a difficult day, try
not to think too far ahead as this can feel overwhelming. Instead, try to
concentrate on the next step – such as getting dressed or making a nice coffee
mid-morning. Take things one small step at a time.
You might find it helps to allocate
different spaces in your home to different purposes. The change of scenery for
different activities can help divide and structure time as well as reduce
feelings of being trapped inside.
Now that so many of us have been at
home for months, the days can blur into one long stretch of time that feels
difficult to fill. This can be especially hard over the weekends or if you’re
not working. Breaking up your day can help make everything seem a little more
manageable.
Some people find it helps to make a
plan for the next few hours and write it down. So, if you need to, try taking
things hour by hour, moment by moment. You might find it helps you remember
that you might not feel like this for the whole day and that things will
change. And sometimes a day can end better than it started.
Carolyn is 61 and has lived alone for
nearly 10 years. She says that the key things that have helped her during
lockdown are:
· Structuring each day
· Having a good breakfast
· Keeping fit
It’s good to keep to a routine and
set yourself some goals. These don’t need to be huge goals like writing a novel
or learning another language, but if you’d like to do those things, then go for
it!
Lots of us may be finding it hard to
concentrate at the moment, so set small achievable targets for yourself. This
could include cooking a nice meal from scratch, clearing out your wardrobe or
watching that film you’ve been meaning to see. This will give you something to
do and promote a sense of satisfaction or enjoyment.
During the March lockdown, Sarah, who
is 80, made the most of her time indoors by spreading out her cleaning jobs
around the house. She also tackled clearing out one kitchen cupboard per day.
This could be a good time to connect
with yourself on a deeper level. You may want to try writing your thoughts down
as a way to notice how you’re feeling and what makes you feel happy. Or you
could try expressing yourself through art.
Doing something creative can be a good way to take
your mind off things, help you to relax and spend time doing something
enjoyable. Give yourself permission to resurrect old hobbies or explore any new
hobbies you’d like to take up.
Make the most of video calls with family and friends. Try reframing social distancing as physical distancing – although you can’t be together in person, you can still socialise in other virtual ways.
You’re allowed to leave your house to
take daily exercise. Make use of this so that you get some fresh air and a
change of environment. And, if the decrease in winter daylight is affecting
your mood, try to get outside during daylight when you can. It’s also a chance
to see other people out walking their dog or going for a run. It may help to
physically see other people going about their day just as you are.
There’s a lot beyond our control at the moment and that can be difficult to accept. But if you can let go of what you can’t control and practise acceptance and self-compassion, it may help to free up energy and space in your mind. It may also help to remember how resilient you’ve been in the past and that you can get through this too. Carolyn says: “I have dealt with various things during my life, which has found me favouring living alone for near enough the last 10 years. I prefer to be in control of all aspects of my life. I feel that this is a very positive way to live.”
Whatever your situation, what’s
happening in the world right now is a lot to process. You might find some days
easier than others. If you’re feeling anxious, stressed or low, try and speak
to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. If this isn’t possible or you’d
rather to speak to somebody you don’t know, there are some places of support
that can help you.
·
Mind
·
NHS 111